We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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