so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
