shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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