okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
