just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
being pregnant is like rehab
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
