whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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