i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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