Screwed.edu
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize