After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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