You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
