He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize