It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
