Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
