do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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