I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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