My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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