I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
