we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
only if we run a train.
done.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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