Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am midnight drunk by noon
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
