What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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