quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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