fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
