there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
