Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
