I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
