She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
