I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
