You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
