is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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