so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
