So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
please come you make the beer taste better
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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