you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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