God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
