I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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