but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
