Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
