It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
