This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
