I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize