so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
