guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
