Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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