i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
