Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
