he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
