Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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