It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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