Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
