dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
