Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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