...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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