How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
