is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What happened to fro yo and sex?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
