He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
