Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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