someone get that fucking seahorse.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
