It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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